Delivering value at the margin

Acolyte Companies

Alter Kawker is at the center of the geriatric respiratory energy (GReEn) revolution. Our elderly and homeless populations are renewable resources. Supply of the elderly and homeless will grow at an accelerated rate with demographic trends and the next administration. Shamefully, the potential of this population to ameliorate global warming has gone unrealized heretofore. Alter Kawker efficiently locates and allocates these populations, their walkers, wheelchairs and scooters to heat and cool offices and factories with clean, metabolic thermodynamics. In cold seasons Alter Kawker team members fill dead spaces, adding thousands of otherwise wasted calories of heat to work environments. In warm times, they are stampeded to circulate hot air, which they are capable of creating in abundance. All this energy is obtained for the cost of soup and saltines per day. Alter Kawker’s teams generate the near-white noise typically associated with nursing homes and ICUs, a boon for worker productivity in all industries. All Alter Kawker solutions are Grey Leed Certified.


With the proliferation of microblogging and social networks and the distraction of Angry Birds, Personal Brand Management (PBM) has never been so challenging.

ChainLinq to the resque! Using patent-pending algorithms, ChainLinq crawls all modalities and generates quasi-appropriate avatars and content. Finegrain controls keep the graphical “you” pixel perfect, Facebook comments positive (‘Way to go!”), me-too tweets at the top of the queue and Linkedln Group posts begging for serious discussion (“What can we real estate professionals do to help end piracy on the high seas?”) ChainLinq will keep your network wondering how you find the time to watch Biggest Losers.

ChainLinq Professional includes recursive complementary content generation, making sure no post/tweet of yours goes without a suitable number of inane and redundant responses. Hundreds of celebrities have found it indispensable. As Wittgenstein said, “more is more.”

Chainlinq’s denial of service application is no longer available.


Dontbro is developing solar-powered electronic control devices for law, professional and consumer markets. ECDs are used by military, police and fraternities to incapacitate threatening or uncooperative individuals, while being safe and kinda fun to use. The Dontbrol deploys a solar-paneled bumbershoot to rapidly charge the ECD without contributing to global warning. When not deployed as an ECD, the Dontbrol can be used as a handy pocket flask.

Dontbro has offices in Langley, Virginia and Medellin, Columbia.


GROUPhug is a buying consortium with a difference! Every day GROUPhug sends its members the name of a local proprietor with much-wanted goods and services. If enough members express interest in buying from the vendor for less, the GROUPhug teams springs into action with its exclusive single premium insurance plan: members buy/eat/drink/ride/consume at a deep discount and the vendor is protected from a costly embarrassment. So far GROUPhug has a 100 percent participation rate by invited vendors, once the wisdom of participating is made clear in a personal way. Imitators have tried to replicate the program, but so far they’ve disappeared.


Complaint Remediation Management is used to control unwanted and pernicious whining by employees, associates and regrettable family members. Utilizing technology developed by the Israeli Defense Force, Kvetch anticipates whining before it starts and suggests ameliorating strategies, utterances and gestures in real time. Kvetch Enough Already is a solution for the enterprise. Kvetch Oy! is designed for the 5MB and consumer markets. The That’s My Boss Calling module integrates with most telecom platforms. Kvetch deploys way up in the clouds as a SaaS application.

Kvetch is teaming with Dontbro to integrate whine anticipation technology with an electronic control device for adolescent maintenance. It is a clear example of cross-pollination in MVP’s fecund orchard of acolytes.


The economies of West Africa suffer from gross economic inefficiencies, particularly when they involve the travails of government bureaucrats. All too often substantial capital has been stranded in these bureaucracies due to unfortunate personal circumstances of functionaries and their extended families. Until recently, solutions to eliminate these inefficiencies were made available to eleemosynary western investors only by postal invitations sent randomly, creating additional distribution and capital market inefficiencies. Nighjeericon is the first and only online market matching able investors with the government officials, widows and orphans mediating the liberation of constrained capital in West Africa.

Success in matching investors with opportunities has enabled Nighjeericon to open a second market in Boca Raton.


RI$KNOT is a proprietary hedging strategy against so-called “Black Swan” events, low-probability outcomes with significant implications for the financial investor. RI$KNOT uses table-based investment vehicles that are uncorrelated with major securities markets, making numerous wagers that have equally small likelihood of occurring, but which have large payouts, especially if the ball lands on 00.


Zyplyner, the first Point-to-Point Transportation and Relay Tie-in, or POPTART. Zyplyner is fundamentally a new paradigm for urban transportation: a grid of ziplines to enable urban dwellers to fly over the gridlock below. Instead of crawling along bumper to bumper, Zyplyner’s members fly through the city like Spiderman. Zyplyner has negotiated the air rights in Bogota and looks to expand its network of POPTARTs once the litigation around the braking thing is settled.